Sometimes as I move forward I lose my way…. I forget who I am, where I’m going and what’s important…. I become consumed by the old and familiar habits and patterns and before I know it I’m guilty of the very things I am trying to leave behind…. Why does my past taunt me in this way?…. Why do I time and time again relapse back into the arms of that which most deceives and hurts me?…. The more I walk this path the more I have come to understand there is benefit in everything…. A relapse is not a reason for desperation and despair…. In fact in so many instances it is my relapse that provides the clue, the insight into what needs to change….


Progress rarely moves in a nice, neat orderly fashion….It is often a winding path which has many peaks and troughs and each bit of the journey has something to teach me…. In fact I usually learn the most from the times I spend in the troughs or when I find myself caught in a bend when I cannot see what is around the next corner…. It is in these moments that my greatest lessons are often learnt…. This is why I must not allow myself to lose heart, when I feel that life is conspiring against me….More often than not life is preparing to open my eyes further so that I might see that which I have not yet fully understood…. From now on I will treat the troughs as though they are just as important as the peaks…. I will remember that that blind bend invites me to be more patient, cautious and reflective and that progress comes in many forms…. And paradox is the most common of these….So I will not lose heart, because I now better understand what seem to be life’s contradictions… Its many twists and turns are in fact the lamps that illuminate my path….