I’ve spent so much time trying to fit in, bending myself out of shape in order to belong…. I’ve been like a chameleon for such a long time, changing to suit my environment….Now I’m not sure who I am!…. Somewhere in all the pretending, role-playing and adjusting my behaviour in order to be liked I’ve lost myself…. When I sit quietly and peer into my inner world I don’t always like what I see…. I have become something, someone else…. I’ve traded away my heart and my mind in the mistaken belief I would be accepted, loved and included…. In truth I’ve lost who I am…. What the world now sees is a mirage…. I have lost my clarity, my original innocence, virtue and even my purpose…. I have attached myself to the lives of others, believing my own life not to be worthy…. Arguably for the first time, I can see that this is not true… I am indeed worthy…. It’s time to stop changing and adapting in order to fit in….
As I look more closely I can see the child that was once me… It still resides deep in my heart, occupying a unique place in my mind…. It’s the part of me that knows real strength lives in kindness and compassion…. It’s the part of me that doesn’t need to pretend…. The child I once was is untainted…. It’s the part of me that isn’t corruptible, that isn’t afraid to be itself…. Why should I hide the kind, sweet nature of my child?…. Why should I hide that beautiful innocence, that wide-eyed wonder that the child within me brings into my life?…. I’m tired of believing that being an adult means denying my nature and spirit and becoming something else the world finds more acceptable…. I now allow my lightheartedness, humour and the eternal curiosity of a mind not afraid to grow to come to the fore…. I step willingly into the mental pose of my child…. From this vantage point I see myself and the world differently…. This is a kinder, softer place…. I can feel more patience and compassion when I connect with this part of me…. I like this gentle strength…. It brings with it more reason and compassion…. I plan to spend more time in this place…. My child has so much to teach me and I have so much to learn…. I’m ready and willing to grow….And I do…. Connecting with my child enables me to be more balanced, rounded and whole…. Going forward I walk hand-in-hand with my child …. I will no longer neglect the child within….