Victory is not about winning, it’s about being the best you can be. Victory is about fulfilling your potential, making the most of who you are, of your ambitions, abilities and talents. Those who get caught up in the belief that victory is about coming first will fail to celebrate the ‘real’ achievement(s) because they believe unless they win they have somehow failed. This simply isn’t the case! However, what you believe about yourself is actually shaping your experience of every moment…


The primary flaw with this approach and outlook is that it stops one seeing that winning can in fact be defeat! If one wins the race, or acquires the prize but along the way loses his dignity, breaks his code of conduct and rejects his values, can this be called winning? Is to win at any price true victory?


Victory is not about coming first. It’s determined by the way you pursue the goal or the ambition. It’s the way you move towards the prize that tells the real story of victory or defeat. Victory is a state of mind; it’s a choice that we can make. It’s a decision to do what needs to be done to the best of our ability and without compromising our values and principles along the way. For if we give up who we are to reach a particular destination, then is that destination really worthy of our efforts? No destination that demands we trade away ourselves in order to reach it is worth pursuing.


Far too often we go in pursuit of goals and attainments that we believe are imperative if we are to be the very best we can be, yet under closer scrutiny the compromises we are prepared to make mean that even if we claim the prize, we have in fact lost. To lose oneself can never be victory. Be sure whatever goals you choose to pursue are truly worthy of your efforts and are not inviting you to give up who you are in the process.


When you are trapped in victimhood life seems to continuously oppress you, it is as if everything conspires against you, certainly this is how it feels. However, is this in fact true? When you’re in this place, having this experience, it definitely is true, but the primary reason for this is the individual’s state of mind. We are the chief architects of our own destiny. Our thoughts, feelings, words and attitudes are in fact shaping our realities moment by moment. In other words, if we believe that life is conspiring against us then, given the power of our perceptions to shape our reality, our experience will follow suit. Life is about the interplay of energies; it’s a dance between matter and consciousness. As these energies collide against one another the infinite number of collisions generates an unbelievable number of consequences that we witness each day. If we don’t take responsibility for our thoughts, feelings and actions, the force of circumstance will take over. The power of choice then gets overridden by a lack of personal responsibility, by apathy and indifference. We then become victims.


Victimhood is a place that many inhabit by default rather than design: after all who would choose to be a victim if they were in the right frame of mind? So the reason anyone falls into the negative clutches of victimhood is that they have lost sight of their power to choose. Maybe they’ve never realised that they have a say, or maybe they’ve been undermined so much they don’t believe in positive outcomes. There are so many reasons why someone might fall foul of victimhood but whatever the reason, the truth remains that being a victim is a position we can opt out of or opt into, it really is a choice we can make. Once we understand that our thoughts, feelings, perceptions and beliefs are constantly shaping our reality, we come to see that life is not merely happening to us, it is a relationship between consciousness and matter. Therefore, if we take up the position of responsibility that we all have for our lives and exercise our right and ability to choose, we can choose victory over victimhood.


If your life is unfolding before you in a way that you are unhappy with, then, rather than adopting a position where you believe there’s nothing you can do and getting caught up in the belief that nothing ever goes right for you, realise that by believing life will always be unkind to you, you are almost certainly condemning yourself to that fate. One of the great insights that quantum physics has illuminated is that atoms, subatomic particles and molecules are all waiting for our clear instruction. They are aching for our direction and intention…: ‘where the mind goes, the molecule will follow’. Matter has its own unique role and infinite functions and possibilities, but at every stage it is willing to engage with consciousness in the eternal dance we call life. If we do not play our part then life happens to us rather than us becoming active participants. This is why when we apply consciousness in a clear and consistent way those atoms and molecules dance in and around us engineering the outcomes of our choice. At every stage they are willing to cooperate, but it’s important to remember that matter has no consciousness of its own. Yes, there is an intelligence, but that intelligence is based on data collection. Matter uses the information it has collected to shape its current and future responses and to that extent we can say it has intelligence. But what it doesn’t have is the ability to decide for itself. It is unable to transcend the database of evidence it has collected.


In fact it is entirely driven by that database which is why to persuade it to align itself to our cause often takes a great deal of effort, time and consistency (see: 3 P’s). The truth about life’s equation is this: just as easily as misfortunes seem in one moment to have the upper hand and are driving your life in directions that you may be unhappy with, it is equally true that you can turn those same misfortunes into blessings by changing your perception and attitude which then sends your spirit soaring. All you have to do is remember that matter is ‘listening in’ and awaiting your instructions and that if you don’t offer her a clear vision of what you want, the force of circumstance will choose for you. And it is at this point that you do indeed become a victim.


Victory is a choice you can make; however the illusion of comfort found in being a victim will continue to deceive you for as long as you allow it to. Being a victim enslaves you and disconnects you from yourself and reality. There is no benefit in the chant of ‘poor me’; it only keeps you bound to fear and limitation. It promises you a lifetime of not feeling good enough and not belonging, shackled to your shame and regrets. So, starting from right now stop being a victim and strive for victory. Victory is about being the best you can be, doing the right thing, pursuing your dreams with integrity. Do not give away your conscience, otherwise you will have failed whatever the outcome (see: Define or be Defined).


Let this be your internal song….

“My life is waiting for clear instruction…. My mind, my relationships and the circumstances that surround me are all waiting for me to choose one of the infinite possibilities before me…. I am not tied to the path I have taken, I can choose another way…. I let go of my negative inheritance, my old outdated habits and fears…. I choose a life that is consistent with my highest self…. A life that is consistent with my heartfelt desires…. Victimhood is a lie that I have believed for too long…. It’s a mirage that promises plenty but continues to serve up a drought…. I’m tired of hiding, denying and pretending…. I connect with my truth, my courage and my strength…. I grow out of fear and move towards the light of infinite possibility…. As I grow a quiet river of confidence flows through my mind and my body and I now know everything is possible….I refuse to be deceived any more…. Victory is mine….. Victory is mine…..”


Develop your own quiet chant of victory. Change your self-talk. Your inner dialogue can be your greatest enemy or your most beautiful friend. Choose friendship…. Choose victory.


Also see: N.O.S.E and The Pyramid of Shame