It is invaluable for our growth to identify and understand the source of our difficulties and limitations, the insight that this offers us accelerates our ability to achieve personal liberation. The process of defining, naming and then understanding the sources which undermine us is not about apportioning blame; this is a process of truth, clarity, maturity, and empowerment. The more we are clear about the complex nature of the human condition, the more we can engineer a life that reflects our talents, potential and abilities.
Blame denies us access to the vast wealth waiting to be discovered deep inside us. Blame keeps us living on the surface of our consciousness, living in the pain, anger, and loss we have experienced. Blame prevents us from seeing beyond the problem and taking responsibility for creating a brighter future, a future enriched by the lessons of the past. It is time to stop playing the game of blame, because it is a futile pastime that holds us back and prevents us from being at peace.
If we take a closer look at how we (as human beings) have arrived at this point in time we will discover damage and dysfunction is part of a multi generational stream that flows from the distant past into the present. We would then see that each generation substantially shapes the emotional health and stability of the next generation. Therefore, who is to blame for what is missing in us? … Do we blame our parents? And if so haven’t they also been victims of their upbringing? If we accept that this is true, does this mean that their parents are to blame? If that is the case haven’t their parents also been part of the same process? So where do we start apportioning blame???
Even if we decide to blame a particular generation for starting it all, will the act of blaming change anything for us in the present? … The solutions to our problems do not lie in blame, our solutions lie in seeing beyond blame.
What is needed to move forward is to appreciate how inadequacy, shortcomings and deficiencies in one generation are passed on to the next generation via the machinery of family values, tradition, culture, education and lifestyle. Understanding this process does not excuse or justify what negative experiences that others have placed in our paths, nor does it invite such acts to continue. To the contrary, the blame game is about understanding the truth behind how we (as individuals) and society as a whole have arrived at this quite diseased ridden state. A state in which so much pain, hurt and sadness is perpetuated; a state of short-sightedness and selfishness.
The primary reason for the continuing shortfall in human kindness, is a lack of self love and respect, without self love it is difficult for the generation carrying the responsibility for the upbringing of the next generation to provide all of what is needed. How can any of us give what we have not got?
Many of us have missed out on our full quota of love, attention, recognition, understanding, and much more. This in the main has not been as a result of willful neglect, it is about a deficiency in those who were in the role of caring for us, it is their ignorance as well as not having had their needs adequately met that limits what they can offer. We in turn, if we have not sought to remedy this imbalance continue this pattern. We may differ in the way we perpetuate the cycle of damage and dysfunction, but this does not make our contribution any less crippling.
Until we start noticing what is absent and introducing it into our lives, and then gently inject these principles into the minds of the next generation, the disease of human limitation will continue to be passed on. And whilst we’re all busy blaming something or someone for the problems in our lives our world will continue to crumble and decay. We need to take up the gauntlet of responsibility and with that exercise our power to change our predicament. It is time to stop living in the problem and start living in the solution.
Also see: Personal Responsibility