The concept of self-love is much talked about but rarely understood (see: How to Achieve Self-Love). What we have tried to do here, through two very simple diagrams, is show you how self-love can be achieved and more importantly maintained.



We have also by way of contrast in the second diagram illustrated how self-loathing (the antithesis of self-love) is conceived and sustained.  You will notice there is a cyclical pattern driving both experiences and unless this is understood one is unlikely to break the bondage of self-loathing or experience the power and momentum of self-love. The diagrams also help to illustrate how both experiences are in fact self-sustaining; they feed off themselves. And so if you want to break free from a self-loathing pattern you have to stop neglecting the self and find ways to care for you.  


It is only when you start caring for yourself that your lack of self-nurture will be inverted and then generate powerful habits for positive change.  It is these positive habits of care and nurture that in turn build your self-respect and as a consequence your disrespect is eroded.  Then your self-respect will, like the phoenix, rise out of the ashes of self-harm, neglect and indifference and soar into the loving embrace of self-love.  This is a journey well worth taking, it is a very simple journey if you follow the principles outlined with quiet resolve and consistent application. You will then find that self-love ceases to be a mirage, always out of reach, and is in fact a wonderful oasis able to quench your deepest thirst.



Also see: Living with Ambivalence and Living with Ambivalence 2