The Reach Approach is all about helping the individual reach his/her potential and fulfill his/her purpose. Much of the way we work is based on you looking honestly at yourself, but not in a negative, self-critical way, by walking along the path of victimhood. Our reason for inviting closer scrutiny of the self is because we live in a world that is increasingly externalized, where the individual is encouraged to look ‘out’ for everything, where the notion of a ‘jewel within’ seems ‘new-agey’ and even a little bit suspect. The joy and the benefits of introspection have been lost to so many as if it were some strange activity only to be pursued by a few.


This loss of respect for the inward journey is the reason that so many of us are divorced from ourselves and our reason for being. We simply operate in a robot-like way, in a world that no longer sees our individuality and uniqueness, it merely demands some end product. The world seems to care little for who we are and what price we have to pay to produce what it demands. Does this feel right to you? Is there really any benefit in living a life divorced from yourself, simply fulfilling a set of expectations that you’ve not even chosen?


We believe this is a hollow existence, which has no heart at its centre. It is a poor imitation of life and we are sure, given the choice, you would choose something better, more satisfying and fulfilling. Well, here’s your chance. ‘Who are you when no one is looking? is something we all need to ask ourselves. Can you answer this question? Take a few moments now, before reading on, to answer this for Yourself….. It may be a question you will have to come back to again and again before you can clearly feel and see the answer. Or, it may be that the answer is already present but you don’t like what you see and so you’re busy hiding ‘it’ from the world. Whoever you are when no one is looking gives you the most accurate picture of yourself. This isn’t the public image that’s often far too busy trying to be liked, trying to belong, compromising itself at almost any cost. No, this is the you that doesn’t need to pretend, the warts-and-all version. For many, it’s not an image that’s greatly liked, which is a big part of the problem.


If you don’t like who you are when no one is looking, there is no chance of being the best you you can be. The quiet self-loathing that will run through your veins will serve to undermine you again and again and again. This largely invisible ‘you’ houses so many truths. It is the part of you that carries most of the hurt and the pain. It is often described as the ‘wounded self’. It needs unconditional love if it is to heal. Spend some time trying to get to know who you are when no one is looking. This version of you has more to teach you than you know and if you dare to become its friend, its student, it will show you the way to your solution. Whilst we live in a place of contradiction (see: Inventory of Incongruence) the subtle lies of that position will deny us everything we ache for. This is not a journey of shame, although it often begins that way. It is a journey of love and acceptance.


‘Who you are when no one is looking’ is nearer to the truth than anything else in your reality. Do not be afraid of anything it has to say. Listen with compassion. It asks only for your understanding and care. Face it and befriend it without negative judgment and it will set you free and within that freedom you will discover the ultimate prize, the real you!


Also see: Understanding your blind spotAlso listen to: Change Through Compassion