The position of ‘lovingly detached’ is unquestionably the most sought-after state of awareness by those seeking peace of mind, personal growth and greater enlightenment. It might seem that it could have only advantages and therefore no disadvantages, especially given the initial summary we offered in The Three Aspects of Consciousness. However, this is not the case as we will seek to demonstrate. This point of awareness is truly able to stand outside of itself and the situation and see all sides without attachment to a particular perspective. It’s also worthy of note that this is not a position denied to any one of us; we simply have to be prepared to let go of our opinions and what we think we know. If we want to taste the sweetness of the unlimited, we need to stand before the altar of practice. Only then can we step outside of our limits. It is practice that expands our awareness and gives us access to our true power and potential. Let us look more closely at the strengths and weaknesses of the lovingly detached position and how that might be attained.



The lovingly detached standpoint is quite simply an awe-inspiring place of awareness. There are those who might think that this is a ‘God like’ state and therefore is unattainable for us mere mortals. This would be a tragic mistake because the lovingly detached state of awareness is simply what it says it is – a position filled with love but without the attachments usually considered an integral part of love. This position realizes that when we are attached to people and things we are often unable to retain a perspective that is clear and helpful. Our identification with that person or thing means we can be prejudiced in our point of view. This isn’t always a bad thing but it can mean that we are no longer truly able to see what is in the best interests of all parties. The primary speciality of being loving and detached is that it does not fall into the bias or prejudicial trap. It is always able to see the differing points of view, never aligning itself to one position. It makes its decisions based on all the information available and through its heightened awareness and intuition is able to detect the intangible forces at work. It draws from the best of knowledge, experience and its finely honed intuition, which it then applies with great discrimination and precision. The emotional turmoil of events does not seduce such a mind away from the truth and so it does not get caught up in championing any one perspective. The mind stays clear and focused, able to decode and understand the detail but it is also able to simultaneously transcend the detail in a way that allows it to ‘see’ what’s really going on. All this is done with such a deep sense of love, respect and appreciation for life.

The lovingly detached position knows there are many peaks and troughs and that the landscape of any given event or situation is not understood by following these rises and falls but by hovering above them…. from there one is best able to see what needs to be done. The unlimited generosity housed within this position means that it can support and enable even those who can no longer see the way ahead. The lovingly detached mind brings hope where there is despair, joy where there is sadness, enlightenment where there is ignorance and comfort where there is no support. It is the antidote in any given situation. Its lack of attachment is the reason its love is not blind.



Can a so-called all-knowing, all-seeing, all-loving position ever be disadvantageous? The answer is yes, if we apply love without detachment or detachment without love. What makes the lovingly detached position truly unique is the pairing. The more we understand life’s magnificence and mystery, the more we come to understand that everything is about relationship; the relationship of the earth, sun, moon and stars is critical to life; the relationship of oxygen to the lungs, the way that the internal organs all relate to one another, the way we as humans treat each other, animals and the planet…. all these relationships lead either to a state of health or disease. Relationship is the critical dynamic in determining whether things work or not…. it’s life’s heartbeat.

There are those who think that love can stand alone and there is no doubt that it can do an admirable job by itself but there are times when love alone can be suffocating, demeaning and disempowering if we don’t have the power to stand back and acquire some objectivity. Detachment does not mean being cold and clinical, insensitive and unempathic. To the contrary, it’s a place of compassion and warmth but realizes that by always ‘stepping in’ there will be times when our support becomes interference and worse than that, even muddies the waters. Detachment is a place of trust and faith in the greater good of the universe. It knows that all life is aspiring to be the best it can be and that it may often go off course and so at times need help, but that help has to be measured and wise. However, when detachment stands alone, it can be clinical and cruel, cynical and sceptical, aloof and uncaring as it feels no sense of responsibility for its actions and acts without conscience. This is a damning and damaging place and is the reason that detachment alone is simply not enough. Both qualities need to be present because both are capable on their own of spoiling the individual or the situation.



There will be many who, reading this synopsis, may understand that detachment by itself can be an obstructive force, leading us away from the best of ourselves but they might struggle more to see how love alone could ever be found wanting. But what we would ask you do is to look to your own life and those around you and you’ll find many examples where no amount of love by itself has seemed to work…. and whatever the problem has been, in spite of love, it has persisted. This is because to apply any strategy, including that of love, without realizing how multi-layered we are and how complex our needs, is short-sighted. The antidote for our ills is rarely found in any one tonic. Many things need to come together to make us well and in terms of consciousness, being able to healthily move between ‘self’, ‘other’ and ‘lovingly detached’ enables all of our emotional, psychological and spiritual needs to be met, setting us free to be the best we can be. Therefore it is imperative to understand that even though love is an immense force for good in the world without being paired with detachment it can lose its focus and perspective, which then means it can actually get in the way of learning and growth. Try and move through your life applying the wisdom of this position and you’ll better serve your own needs and the needs of those around you.


To understand this subject further please also read: Self – Expanded and Other – Expanded.