To stay mentally well and truly ‘F.I.T’, three things are needed: forgiveness, intention and the power of thank you. The mastery of these offers the potential for a positive and sustainable life! What is even better is that they are all easy to claim. All three attributes are cornerstones of our philosophy and all we are doing here is pulling them together in a simple, cohesive way to help you to become completely mentally well.
FORGIVENESS: A lack of forgiveness ties you to the past and cements your self-limiting patterns firmly into place, ensuring a life of disquietude and repetition. A life in which hurts and pains continue to shape and influence your destiny. Arguably the worst thing about being unable to forgive is that it punishes the one who is suffering over and over again. It builds a dam of internal feelings that become at one end of the spectrum a poisonous resentment and at the other end a desperate desire for revenge, and both are equally destructive. As these feelings build, the body is slowly consumed by a multitude of toxic compounds, all of which compromise health and well-being. In addition to that, personality, perception and performance are all affected, because someone who cannot forgive is unable to give the best account of him or herself.
On the other hand, not only does forgiveness unblock the pathways in both mind and spirit, it is a biological truth that forgiveness also heals the brain and the body too! Look for yourself at the latest discoveries in epigenetics, neuroscience and psychoneuroimmunology and you will find substantial evidence describing how feelings such as love, compassion, peace and forgiveness all generate healing compounds and foster greater well-being. Lack of forgiveness has the opposite effect on the mind and spirit. A mind burdened by a lack of forgiveness is repeatedly tortured by the past. So how can the mind forgive and why should it let those responsible get off so lightly … shouldn’t they suffer too? It’s tempting to succumb to these sentiments, yet the fundamental flaw remains. … A lack of forgiveness keeps the victim suffering – and the place of greatest suffering is in the mind. It switches off clarity, dims potential and denies the victim inner peace as he or she gets caught up in anger, sadness and pain by a mind that becomes distorted and blinded by these emotions – a mind never at rest, never truly free. Forgiveness is not a soft option, it does not let the ‘perpetrator’ off, but it does set the victim free. We live in a cause and effect universe, where no one needs to play judge and jury because we all will reap the seeds of our actions, for both time and circumstance always claim their debts. (see: Forgiveness & Gratitude 1 & 2 ).
INTENTION: Pure intention is unrivalled in its ability to help us achieve our goals. The reason most of us do not reach our destination is because we don’t know where we are going. We bumble along to the next set of circumstances for want of a vision or a plan (better still both). Then we wonder why life rarely unfolds in the ways we would most like to see and experience. The answer is simple; firstly, we are not clear about what we want and secondly we are not obsessive in our pursuit of that goal. So both clarity and fervent desire (pure obsession) are needed to reach the pinnacle of our potential and purpose.
Without clear vision your life will only unfold circumstantially driven by ego and events. Look at your life now. Is it going in the direction of your choice? If not understand it is moving in accordance with your own self talk, the ‘internal chatter’ of the mind driving you down the path you are currently taking. Put another way, your unconscious intention is carving out a destiny that corresponds to your unspoken beliefs. This is why it is crucial to take charge of your thoughts. It is now generally agreed amongst psychologists that we have approximately 60,000 thoughts a day but only 5% of those thoughts are ever new. Therefore 95% of the thoughts you had today are the same as the ones you had yesterday and will be the same as the thoughts you have tomorrow. If you do not use today’s 3,000 new thoughts constructively and creatively they will simply join the mass of confusing and conflicting thoughts and beliefs that dominate your life. This is why it is important to remember do not believe your thoughts. This may sound crazy yet it is the basis of supreme mental health.
So many of your thoughts (your inner chatter) do not even belong to you and are not of your creation, they’ve been inherited and worse still, most of these thoughts have not been properly edited either, because they have been imbibed by an uninitiated and unenlightened mind. If we are to truly ‘wake up’ to our own nobler vision of ourselves and fulfil our potential and reason for being, we have to stop believing our thoughts! We must become true editors of our internal monologue. Only after vigorous scrutiny of our thoughts, should they be allowed to become part of our inner commentary, assuming they stand up to reason. Only with this level of inner scrutiny will our self-talk change. Self-talk is the language of intention, conscious or unconscious. So become aware of what you say inside your head otherwise the often pointless, repetitive, unedited thoughts that have accumulated over the course of your life will continue to unconsciously run the show! (see: Focusing with Faith & Miracles are Made).
THANK YOU: There is no greater pastime than the act of gratitude and appreciation. A grateful mind has no room for complaints. A complaint-free mind is free from stress, despair, anxiety, anger, fear and much, much more … In fact if we can steer this course, the hurts of the heart and the stifling of the spirit eventually cease, generating peace, joy and contentment in their place. The power of thank you is so underestimated; it can literally create hope where there is despair; offer solutions to the seemingly impossible and heal both body and mind. If only we would fall into its arms more often we would find the healing ointment we so desperately crave.
The all too familiar culture of complaint carries us away from the shores of gratitude ensuring only occasional and fleeting contact. In this cause and effect world we inhabit complaining only guarantees more of what we focus on and if complaining has become a habit then whatever you complain about is sure to keep turning up in your life. This is why so many of us continue to be greeted by circumstances, events and people we would rather be free of. Focusing consciously or unconsciously on what we do not want, simply guarantees its arrival in our lives. We must focus on what we do want and nothing works better than thank you!
The highest form of living is giving and a generous heart and mind is one that is full of gratitude. When we practice thanking life for all its many blessings we become filled with appreciation. We are then driven by appreciation, personal power and choice and not by the unsteady force of circumstances and events. The beauty of thank you is that it is so easy to install in our lives. Start by remembering to give thanks for all you take for granted and quite soon you will find yourself dwelling longer in a place of true appreciation and recognition of those things and people that add value to your life. Nothing will get you to where you want to be more swiftly (see: The Power of Thank You 1 & 2).
For many, getting physically fit is quite rightly at the top of their personal agenda, for here in the developed world, we have no greater enemy than the habit of over-eating, the consequences of which are too many to name. Apart from the obvious threat of obesity, another dangerous consequence is the build up of waste that sits like a biological time bomb threatening to explode and disseminate its toxic compounds (see: Waste Weakens and The Secret to Health is the Removal of Waste). Whilst the physical side is something we must not neglect, neither must we ignore the need to train the mind and spirit in Forgiveness, Intention and Thank You to get us emotionally and psychologically fit too. All that’s needed is patience, practice and perseverance (see: The 3 P’s), and you will quickly find yourself standing in your dreams, surrounded by things you had not even imagined or asked for. So begin today forgiving yourself and others and letting go of the past. Design with clarity a life that fits you and ensure your internal monologue supports your vision and last but not least, give thanks from your heart and not simply from your mouth. Then you will experience the power to create your own reality. Before you do anything else, read this again to ensure you really understand how to get truly F.I.T.
Also see: Kindness and Compassion