Nurture - The Love Instinct...
My instinct is to love
And be loved in my perfect imperfection
My instinct is to love
And connect with the love of others within
My instinct is to love
To embrace with the desire of us all to nurture and be nurtured
My instinct is to love
And live beyond the fear and memory of hurt
My instinct is to love
And allow my soul to be suspended knowing that as I float there will be no falling
My instinct is to love
And to accept the sometimes clumsy expression of affection
My instinct is to love
Each moment as if it were my last
My instinct is to love
And with each day the challenge is to do just that
Let us all nurture our love instinct.
By Tunde Ife
"To love everyone results in the greatest benefit to oneself and to others"
Mo Tzu (470 BC - 391 BC)
We are all special in some way....
It’s my sincere hope that this contribution touches, inspires or gives you hope in some way, because whoever you are, you’re SPECIAL - no matter how you’re feeling right now, you are special.... me too and everyone else.
My name’s Paula and I first realised I needed help when I developed ME. At rock bottom I sought help from nutritionists, acupuncture, herbalism - anything I could find that I thought would help. I improved slightly, only to keep relapsing, to the point that my mental health became a major part of my further deterioration. This was when I sought help with Reach and this was where, over time, working with Jo, I realized that there is no one single answer. We have to work on all aspects of the self to re-establish health and so I decided to hold nothing back.
You see I hadn’t realised just how much I’d been running away from in my life. It was when I started to really open up to and trust Jo that I had the choice of facing things or not, and for a long time I still chose not to - and this was to my own detriment and so things got worse. The hardest lesson I’ve ever learnt is that no matter how much we deny our past, no matter how much we run away, it continues to affect us in the present.
My journey has had many twists and turns....I feel pain, I hurt, I cry, I get angry, my life has been one long and desperate search for love, a trail of failed relationships. There have been many events that have left me with huge shame and guilt and at times my desperation has taken me to the edge - where suicide has felt like my only option. And I’m fully aware of the impact suicide has on those left behind as I am still struggling to come to terms with and heal from the loss of my youngest brother who sadly took his own life. But I do know what the depths of sheer desperation feel like and it’s for that very reason I’ve chosen to write this with as much honesty and openness as possible because I never want anyone to feel that kind of pain.
Because of Reach and Jo I have gradually come to realise that love has to come from inside first. It’s one of the hardest concepts I’ve struggled with. Jo helped me understand it wasn’t my fault that I’ve never felt it, and her patience has been relentless, as I’ve slowly begun the journey of beginning to love myself. I am special, I just have to believe it. My brother was special and that’s why I say to you, you are special too, and it really is true that it’s only when we love ourselves that we then become whole and healed enough to truly, unconditionally give and receive love.
Reach has also helped me understand that I haven’t got to remain a victim to my past but when looked at and reflected upon with kindness, it can be used as a positive reference point for changing my future. I’m not going to say this journey I’m on has been easy but with the help I’ve received my pains and fears have been eased and I'm sure of a brighter future.
I’m not there yet, but I’m half way. If I can take this journey, anyone can. Thank you Jo for your patience, understanding, for having faith when I’ve lost mine. I truly wouldn’t be here now if it weren’t for your support, love and encouragement. Thank you Easton for your continued support and all the resources you keep producing - right now I'm being particularly helped by ‘The Memoried Self'.
For those reading this, please remember you truly are 'special' - you just have to believe it. It’s my heartfelt wish that this helps you in some way to never have to feel the pain or despair that I’ve felt and to seek help if needed.
Here’s a little personal prayer that I’ve made my friend to help me with my life:
I am me, I am love, I am peace, I am happy
I am me, I am healthy, vibrant, full of energy
I walk the hills and countryside, connect with nature
As we both nurture and nourish each other.
I am me, I touch others’ hearts as I have been touched,
I feel love, I give love, I am me
I feel peace, I feel joy, I have fun, I am me
I am filled with God’s love and compassion, I am me
I LOVE ME, I LOVE ALL I AM,
I AM ME.
"No one can harm me without my permission"
Mahatma Gandhi (1869 - 1948)
Hope this helps....
These are three of the most important lessons I've learned on my journey with Reach, for which I am very grateful. I hope they may inspire others too.
i) You are defined by your reaction to a problem....
ii) Responders are heard, reactors are not....
iii) Be kind, not right....
A. Davies, UK
"It is better to travel well than to arrive."
Buddha (563 BC - 483 BC)
Your videos especially the "Asking for Nothing and Receiving Everything" have helped me battle anxiety especially last year. I am deeply grateful for your generosity to make the videos available online. I am looking forward to living a more full and passionate life again. I am back!
I do love the music in the video "Asking for Nothing and Receiving Everything". What music is that, where can if find it, who is the artist? It is deeply relaxing and i would love to have it.
I look forward to hearing from you,
“There is no chance, no destiny, no fate that can hinder the firm resolve of a determined soul.”
Ella Wheela Wilcox (1850 - 1919)
There is no way to practise, practice is the way.....
Spirituality is the mystery....behind who I am
Beliefs are central to my well being....
Practice is the unlocking device....
I commit to changing my underlying beliefs....
I do this by spending a minimum of 10 minutes at the beginning and end of each day saying I believe:-
• Meditating connects me with the universal wisdom and resources
• Breathing deeply creates space/access to higher frequencies
• Visualising and realising attracts opportunities
• Practising the best is the best that is achievable
• Listening to and accepting the mind's chatter enables healing, change and compassion
• Respect and gratitude… honour the gift of life
• Now is always the best place to start!
I commit to this plan… keep it simple… manageable… this leads to successful learning.
My mantra is to plan, to do and then review.
There is no way to practise, practice is the way!
“Love feels no burden, thinks nothing of its trouble, attempts what is above its strength and pleads no excuse for impossibility... "
Thomas Kempis (1380 - 1471)
I'm loving the app that you've developed! Within a few weeks it has helped me on a daily basis find and maintain a positive perspective. I have a very demanding and stressful job in HR and find that because I'm dealing with problems all the time it's easy for me to lose sight of my own needs. Happy Hints has proved to be an incredible resource not just because of the daily reminders which are profound and concise, but the wealth of other material has proved invaluable too. Thank you for this wonderful idea and I wish you every success in this venture... and may it help many like me who have the habit of forgetting what's really important!!
Amanda Rossi, Italy
“Nothing is so strong as gentleness and nothing is so gentle as real strength”.
Ralph W Sockman (1889 - 1970)
To My Beloved
Over time my hands have been neglected, as was my heart. The ritual of keeping them soft and supple had disappeared, my hands felt isolated, cold and hard, as did my heart. Touch had become a dream, and hope had become a half-knowing.
You have made me want to cream my hands, beloved. I now cream them every day, keeping them soft and supple for that other hand to hold, letting it feel the gentleness and kindness of my heart.
My hands have finally been held with respect and love. This has softened them together with my heart. It is a miracle that these hands have now begun to feel the magic of touch. This touch somehow ignites the heart, it warms, nurtures and delights all within.
My friend Hope is illuminated again, never doubting, that this was possible all along. My connection with my hands leads to many thoughts of how I have missed touch and its wonders of connecting, not only to myself but also to others.
My heart now sings when I cream my hands knowing that the sacred, divine connection is being made once again. The joy of my hands makes me want to touch, feel and love again.
The neglect and pain eases every time I cream my hands, knowing that they are ready to be loved; these hands which were so thirsty and hungry for touch now bathe in love as many times as possible.
Our greatness comes from within, as our hearts radiate the love we feel... I understand now why others keep this ritual going. It connects them to their essence. My hands have become the gateway to my Mother, Self Love.... She is my Beloved.
“I’ve always found that mercy bears richer fruit than strict justice.”
Abraham Lincoln (1809- 1865)
I offer this prayer to the divine spirit
From which I was nurtured to breathe
I offer this prayer to the day as it dawns to unfold
New opportunities and possibilities
I offer this prayer to this day
To be compassionate within myself and others
I offer this prayer with my body
To take care of my health with good nourishment
I offer this prayer to the road ahead
And in doing so go in pursuit and choose to seek happiness
I offer this prayer to each moment
To embrace the creative energies that courage provides
I offer this prayer to the gardener of my soul
And choose to create the conditions that allow growth
I offer this prayer and choose to practise
The steps that provide light on my road
I offer this prayer and choose to embrace love
In all things and truly seek intimacy in action and thought
I offer this prayer as captain of my ship
And choose to gain wisdom from all the past journeys
I offer this prayer as a survivor and self-healer
Who walks tenderly watchful of resident pain
I offer this prayer in the spirit of Namaste
To embrace the presence of each other
I offer this prayer as thanks for
The gifts that the divine sprit will provide today
"When you get into a tight space and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for it is just the place and time that the tide will turn."
Harriet Beecher Stowe (1811 - 1896)
I am really pleased to report that everything is moving along nicely (if a bit fast for my liking sometimes…) I guess I have just learned that taking your time and doing things at a steady pace is important and I try to practice that each and every day. It helps me to deal with the pressures presented by a new job and to understand that I can only learn at one pace – my own pace.
I still practice the basics that you taught me: Water/flaxseed oil (I’ve even got my husband converted now!). I take my Foundation Formula and also my Avena Sativa drops. In a couple of weeks I will be running in the Great South Run (10 miles) for charity and I am really looking forward to it and feeling strong, so obviously everything is working well for me!
Also, the first time I listened to your voice on my Ipod, I realised that you were still there with me on my journey and that gives me such a warm feeling – that I have a true friend that is still there for me and will be for as long as I continue to listen and learn. I remember saying to you that I was worried about how I would cope without your support, but I know now that you are still there with me – thank you.
One of the first things I did after moving (and I have to admit, during a time of “wobble”), was to write my personal prayer. It is such a powerful, amazing exercise. And the weird thing is, that immediately upon completion, the situation I had been stressing about and which had caused my “wobble” was sorted out. I also remembered you saying that wobbles were like potholes in the road and it helped me through.
I just wanted to let you know that I have been keeping up the good work....I am making time for exercise and fresh air that I enjoy and for family time. We go on family walks and watch the wildlife and boats and it is a good balance. The good habits that you helped me to establish have taken root and are growing stronger daily. I remember you talking about a tiny seed, growing into a seedling and breaking through – it grows stronger day by day. I am always mindful of how I am feeling and make sure that I have time to really enjoy life as well as working hard.
One of the recordings that you made for me says “it is time to really start enjoying being you”. That is so true and something that I try to live every day. Thanks again for all your help and may you keep helping people with your wonderful gift of inspiration and healing.
I am so happy that I made the first phone call to Easton. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I felt so lonely, broken-spirited and as you know, I couldn’t see my way out. I was in despair and had hit my “rock-bottom”. I still have to work hard every single day to focus on all the right things. I still have self-doubts and times when I don’t feel like I am quite as good as I could be, but I am learning to stay strong and to understand that I will be the best that I can be, which is a truly wonderful and amazing human being – you gave me that understanding and I can’t thank you enough. I know also, that I have done this the right way – no “quick-fixes” or “miracle diets for the soul”. If you want to lose weight and keep it off, you have to focus and do it the right way. Diet pills and crash diets don’t work in the same way that anti-depressants weren’t the answer for me. That’s why I waited for the answer to appear and in my moment of need, it came to me in the form of Reach. The words of the hymn “Amazing Grace” sum it up nicely.
You are welcome to use any part of this letter for the website. If it helps just one person on their own journey, then that will make me very happy.
"You can do anything if you have enthusiasm. Enthusiasm is the yeast that makes your hopes rise to the stars. Enthusiasm is the spark in your eye, the swing in your gait, the grip of your hand, the irrestistable surge of your will and energy to execute your ideas... Enthusiasm is at the bottom of all progress!"
Henry Ford (1663 - 1947)
I hope this helps....
I first came to Reach 2 years ago because I was so down about my chronic bad health, it was starting to affect my relationship. I was very unsure about the whole process and at times felt put off by the ‘spiritual’ nature of the approach. However, family members promised me it would be worth sticking with and they were so right!!
I think going through my life map with Jo was the most memorable of all the work we did together. The most powerful thing, however, was to stop being angry at myself for being ill and actually start to like myself again. This sounds ridiculous but it has made a massive difference to my life. Along with Jo’s support I have really managed to make a lasting change.
I am so grateful to you Jo for all your help and support. You always made me feel so comfortable and you are so easy to talk to, the hour goes so fast!!
"A man is what he thinks about all day long."
Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)
Reach began its unique way of working in 1990. Since that time we have touched literally thousands of people’s lives through our individual work, work with couples, families, groups and countless workshops. We have produced in that time 100s of written resources and over 30 audio and visual recordings and these have travelled across the world, largely driven by personal recommendation. They have also brought immeasurable change to many. On these pages is a snap-shot of what people have thought, felt and gained from their therapeutic contact with us via the various media we offer.
Also included on this page are some inspirational thoughts and writings from those clients, borne of their personal journeys with Reach. We've also added insightful quotes from some of the great minds both past and present.
We hope you too will be inspired....