- Name It – until we are able to clearly define what ails us we cannot be free of it. Sometimes it is obvious what we have to forgive, but on just as many occasions it is not, so we can easily be misled by either our anger or hurt. As a result we remain unsure where our attention needs to go. This is why silent reflection is important so that you can hear the cries of the mind. It is only in stillness that clarity is found.
- Immerse Yourself – once we have correctly identified the emotion we are enslaved by, we need to immerse ourselves in it. This is not a matter of self- indulgence or self-pity it is an essential phase of awareness, which enables us to understand how the emotion holds the consciousness hostage. This is helpful in assisting you to understand how pain and trauma have altered your perception. So do not be afraid to ‘feel’ your way through the issue or the problem. Forgiveness is not merely an intellectual pursuit.
- Embrace – it may seem an odd notion to embrace something that hurts, and yet in embracing it the pain is actually reduced. Running away from our hurts and fears gives them so much power. When you embrace these emotions your awareness is able to move towards understanding and acceptance. Try it… you’ll be surprised! Embracing will set you free.
- Letting Go – the hardest thing for most of us to do is to let go. Unfortunately we have become so used to our limitations and negative patterns that we cling to them for dear life. This is because we’ve become so wedded to those patterns or ways of being that we now think of them as our selves and they keep us bound to the fear of change but if we are to find forgiveness for the self and others we must let go!
- Healing – the mind and heart that has let go of its trauma and hurts is able to move to a place of healing. Healing is the point of acceptance and learning, it is where the individual has gathered the insights necessary from his experience and is able to take them with him on the rest of his journey. These experiences are no longer negative baggage because they positively inform the individual’s decisions and choices… so positive growth is assured.