The more the concept of ‘waste weakens’ is understood (see Moulding Memories and Waste Weakens) the more you will realise that those things you deeply regret keep you living the same story. Take a close look at your life. The characters may have changed, the scenery may have altered, the context in which your life is being acted out may even have changed too, but whilst the regrets remain the story is the same.
The patterns that form around your regrets influence your perspective, attitudes and moods and those patterns, if unchecked, keep you acting out in the same way even when that acting out is no longer useful (if it were ever useful at all!). And the reason for continuing to act out in often unhelpful ways is because the regrets that remain form a food supply to those patterns. In other words, you continue to unconsciously behave in ways that are not helpful, are often destructive and certainly self limiting and you continue to do this because of the subliminal force of the messages conceived out of the regrets you still carry. So the challenge that stands in front of you is to cut off the food supply to your negative patterns because otherwise you are kept in terrible bondage to things you would rather leave behind. Quite simply, because those regrets have not been resolved.
There are those who believe there are some regrets that can never be resolved and it’s that resignation that maintains their mental imprisonment. There is no doubt there are some things that take more effort and more time to be resolved. Nevertheless if the energy and effort is applied then peace of mind will be achieved. The starting point for resolution is to understand that all of the things you have ever done that live inside of you as regrets only reflect who you were in that moment in time. Had you been clearer, more stable, wiser, the way you behaved which you now regret would never have been the way you behaved at all. Understanding this does not seek to let you off the hook nor does it absolve you from what you did, it simply helps you to understand the truth.
The truth is that you are only ever capable of acting in accordance with who you are in that moment. Therefore, I’m sure that if you look into your heart at those things that remain as regrets, if you could right now change them, then of course you would. The problem is they’re now documented in the archives of your life and the one thing none of us can do is change the past, we cannot change what we have done. But resolution begins with understanding that had you known better you could have and would have acted differently. Therefore to continue punishing yourself for the ignorance of that time past, not only lacks compassion and mercy, it keeps a part of you wounded and unable to heal (see Change Through Compassion).
You cannot change the past but you can change the way the past affects you. This is the essence of personal growth. It’s not about seeking to excuse and justify your behaviour, it’s about an acceptance that that is the way you were and this is the way you now choose to be. Self improvement is built on this principle. So you see, any regrets that remain continue to be an obstacle to your progress because those regrets keep you locked into the story you are trying to leave behind.
Those regrets keep feeding the old negative patterns and despite your desire to change, you continue to be weakened by the waste products of the past. It’s time to focus on your ideal future, to focus with faith and to make miracles (see Focus with Faith and Miracles are Made handouts). Accept now that is who you were, that is what you did then and that it cannot be changed. It is time to move on taking the lessons of your experiences with you and leaving the rest behind. Look forwards not backwards and leave your regrets where they belong, in the past and positively embrace the present. The future is waiting to be moulded by what you do today.